People Pleasing

Let me be honest here. I tend to be a people pleaser, probably to an unhealthy extreme. I don’t like to mess up, I worry about how others will view me and what they will think of me. I like to be in my comfort zone.

It’s one thing to think of others and consider their feelings and it’s another thing to live your life timidly walking around, afraid of rejection, and self-conscious. It’s prideful and can be rude.

I wish I could say this is a recent issue, but no, I’ve struggled with it most of my life.

I remember once when I was 10 we were at a get together with people we hadn’t know very long. A group of girls my age were playing together when we arrived and I refused to go over and play with them. Why? I thought they were having fun together and might not want someone else. I worried about it being awkward. I worried about what I would say. It was easier to stay with my mom than make the effort to interact. Eventually my mom made me go – she got up and walked with me over to them and I had a great time. My attitude went beyond shyness and turned into stubbornness and being afraid of how I might appear. It had nothing to do with caring about the others but rather was me focused.

(See why going to Delcare was such a huge step out my my comfort zone?)

Here are some reasons living to try and please people and worried about what they think is not okay:

1. That mindset seeks the approval of men instead of God.

2. A spirit of fear isn’t from God.

3. But rather He gives a spirit of power, love, and self control.

Christ’s love isn’t conditional. His grace isn’t dependent on how someone views me.

I pray that according to the riches of His glory He may grant us to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in our inner being, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith, that we, being rooted and grounded in love may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that we may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19

Linking up to Fellowship Fridays, The Better Mom and Essential Fridays


3 thoughts on “People Pleasing

  1. Tiffany Dawn

    Hi. I found you via the Essential Fridays link up – when I saw the title of your post, I just had to read it. I also suffer from people-pleasing-itis and it is horrible. I have been working to overcome it and will continue to do so, but it is always a struggle.

    I like the point that you made about it being tied to pride. It is easy to blame it on timidity and insecurity, both of which can play a part sometimes, but it is definitely prideful to be so concerned about how we appear to others.

    2 Timothy 1:7 is one of the verses I have memorized and I chant it like a mantra whenever I know I am going to have to push myself out of my comfort zone in whatever way it may be.

    1. Deanna Michaels Post author

      Thanks for stopping by! Love your term people-pleasing-itis. It is pretty miserable. Exactly, so often insecurity and shyness or introvertedness play a part but when we let it get out of hand pride is definitely there. What a great verse to use. I need to write it down and hang it up around the house. 🙂

  2. Mel Caldicott

    It can be a tough challenge to be more interested in what God thinks of us than in pleasing people. Thanks for sharing so honestly.
    Thanks so much for sharing at Essential Fridays.
    Mel from Essential Thing Devotions


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *